This guide will help you discuss these questions...

• How does addiction affect the developing mind?
• How do I balance parenting and befriending my teen?
• How do I combat fear and guilt surrounding addiction?
• How do I discuss addiction with my teen, especially if they are already struggling with it?
• Is there hope for teens fighting addiction?
• How can I protect my teen without shutting down the
• relationship?
• How has addiction affected me?
• Why is addiction so harmful?
• How do I best support my teen?
• What’s the difference between exposure and addiction?
• Does exposure always lead to addiction?
• How do I discuss exposure with my teen and encourage them to think carefully about how they deal with it?
• What is my role in helping my teen work through addiction?

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions:

• Why do teens drink?
• How do teens get alcohol?
• What does the Bible say about teens drinking alcohol?
• How is alcohol depicted in the media, and what impact it might have on my child?
• What key conversations do I need to have with my teens about drinking?
• What are the warning signs that my child may have a drinking problem?
• What should I do if my child has a drinking problem?

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions:

• What bullying is, how it happens, and who it happens to
• Cyberbullying
• How to spot signs of bullying
• How to protect my teen from bullying
• How to teach my teen to stand up for themselves and others

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Keeping up with the world our kids inhabit has never been harder or more daunting.
Back in the “good ol’ days,” things didn’t change at the speed of light, nor were trends
and happenings accessible the instant they occurred. “Bingeing” wasn’t a thing, and
billions of terabytes of information and images weren’t at the tips of our fingers.
But all that’s changed now, and often our kids know about what’s going on in the world
hours, days, weeks, even months before we do. Even if we’ve kept up with technological
advancements, it’s impossible to know everything our kids do or are exposed to. And
not knowing what they’re going through or dealing with makes it very hard to guide
them through those things.

Instead of being our children’s consciences for them, we
want to train their consciences to think deeply about the world around them. Instead
of allowing them to piggyback off our faith, we want to help them own their faith for
themselves. By doing so, we will better prepare them to be responsible, kind, God-
honoring adults who purposefully and happily devote their lives to doing God’s will.

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These words were written by Harper Lee in her classic novel, To Kill a Mockingbird,
and they certainly ring true when it comes to our own parental propensity to worry.
Will there ever be a convenient time to worry? Hardly! But worry has an ugly way of
rearing its head at inconvenient times, as we all know. We try not to worry, but our
attempts often seem futile, which in turn makes it hard to be confident in helping our
kids navigate through their own fear and worry.

Fear is real—in fact, God created it (more on this below)—but worry is never
beneficial. By looking a little closer at the problems of fear and worry, we can learn
where they come from, what they are at their root, how to overcome them through
the power of God, and how to help our kids do the same.


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This guide will help you discuss the following questions:

• What is the importance of friendship?
• What elements form friendship dynamics?
• How does social media affect friendship?
• How does scripture explain healthy friendships?
• How can I help my teen while they are fostering new friendships?
  

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Have you ever looked across the table at
your Gen Alpha son or daughter and felt
like you were looking at someone you
just met? How could this person—your very own
kid—be so totally and completely different from
you? From what they care about and how they
communicate to the values they hold, it can feel
like the generation gap between you and your
rapidly growing child is wider than you ever thought possible...

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions:

• How does culture think about gender and gender identity?
• Why is Gen Z concerned with gender identity?
• What does Scripture have to say about gender?
• What is God’s design for our identity?
• How does culture influence young people’s understanding of gender?
• Why is it important to talk about gender identity?
  

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In the heart of every person is a deep-rooted question: “Who am I, and how do I fit
into the world around me?” In other words, what makes me “me”? Am I the roles that
I play (friend, sibling, athlete)? Am I a set of characteristics (quiet, bubbly, confident)?
Am I my thoughts, emotions, body, soul, actions...a summation of these things?

The question of identity shows up in which brands teens choose to wear, how they
manage their appearance with friends, in their desire to get good grades or try out for
sports or musicals, and in what they think about themselves and others while scrolling
through social media.

It can be difficult to navigate our teens’ search for identity with healthy language,
perspective, and grace. The Christian story for the world has a stunning message
about who we are; our challenge is to contextualize that story in the modern world,
the world of popular culture.

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In the 1990s, being gay was more controversial than it is now. Ellen DeGeneres sparked
controversy in 1997 for coming out as a lesbian on her hit TV show. Now Ellen’s current
daytime talk show is one of the most popular ones airing, and at the end of 2016,
President Obama awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Modern teens are growing up in a culture that has changed significantly since the ‘90s.
If they aren’t questioning their own sexuality, they have friends who are. They’re living
in a society where Will Smith’s son, Jaden, is modeling Louis Vuitton’s womenswear
and where there are so many letters in the current LGBTQ+ initialism (LGBTTQQIAAP)
that it’s simpler to use a plus sign than to list all of them. It’s no longer as big of a deal
to explore what it means to be gay or bisexual. Young people now tend to be more
focused on the newer terms represented by the acronym: queer, questioning, intersex,
ally, asexual, and pansexual.

Even if your kids don’t struggle with their sexual orientations or gender identities, they
probably know people who do. For the most part, the way the church has addressed
these issues has been inadequate at best and polarizing at worst. What follows is what
we think you need to know about what is shaping Gen Z’s perceptions of these issues,
as well as how you can engage well with your teen and the LGBTQ+ community.

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We do not live in a modest age, and some say that’s a good thing. Talk of modesty
is outmoded, old-fashioned, perhaps anti-woman, shaming, and above all LAME. Our
teenagers (and some of us) will almost certainly share this perspective, and rightly so—
if we frame the issue in the wrong way.

So much modesty talk today ends in a deadlock, with parents and leaders straight up
asserting that certain things shouldn’t be worn, and teenagers crossing their arms in
anger and defiance, promising themselves that the moment they get outside their
parents’ and leaders’ jurisdiction, they’ll dress however they want—and that until then,
they’ll push every envelope and test every boundary they can. Needless to say, this is
not the mutually upbuilding life we want to cultivate, even if we’re sure our side of the
debate is the right one.

Sometimes Christian ministries have attempted to make the old ways of talking about
modesty more palatable by getting cooler, younger, more conventionally beautiful
people to speak about the issue. This hasn’t really worked out, because, as we so often
find, our teenagers are intelligent and not likely to be fooled by the simple addition of
“coolness” to our lessons. What we want to do here is reframe the modesty issue in
a way that is more helpful, more fair, and—as it turns out—more biblical than most
of the accounts of modesty we can find today. We’ll redefine modesty, redirect the
conversation about modesty, and hopefully realize along the way that the modesty talk
does not have to be the lame headache it has been for several decades now.

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There are few cultural issues more pressing than the problem of pornography. Though
extremely damaging to us, porn appeals to powerful urges that God created as
good. Sexually explicit material has always been a cultural pitfall, but the internet and
smartphones have provided unprecedented access to it.

Meanwhile, the nature of porn and our cultural attitudes toward it have shifted
significantly over the past several decades. Material that was once considered
pornographic is now almost quaint. And while it’s refreshing that various popular
celebrities are speaking out about the destructive nature of porn, society as a whole
has widely accepted pornography as normal and/or healthy.

This Guide focuses on the general problem of porn in our culture. It should be read first
of these 3 guides on porn, followed by the one specifically aimed at women, then the
one aimed at men. Know from the outset that you might find some of the information
in these guides disturbing. We have done our best to include only what we think you
need to know to be aware of the extent of the problem of porn so that you can more
effectively guide your family and cultivate deeper conversations.

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When Jane was a little girl, her grandmother Alba handed her a beautiful white flower.
They admired its perfection together, noting its delicate beauty. Yet Alba instructed
Jane to crumple the flower in her hand until it was barely recognizable, then said,
“Now try to make it look new again”—an obviously impossible task. When Jane
looked at her with confusion and sadness, she said, “That’s right. You can never go
back. And that’s what happens when you lose your virginity! You can never go back.”

If that sounds extreme, it’s because it is; it’s from the CW’s show Jane the Virgin.
Sadly, though, it’s very similar to the message our kids hear from the Church today:
“Once you give your virginity away, you’re tainted and irreparably damaged, and you
have ruined your sexual future.” But it’s all wrong. Based in shame, regret, and fear,
this approach emphasizes outward conformity over inward obedience. Though the
original goal (being holy and pure) is right and good, our methods, it turns out, are
less than ideal.

As our kids become preteens, then teenagers, and eventually adults, we Christian
parents desire to equip them with knowledge, truth, and the ability to navigate the
sexual landscape. How to do just that is a hot topic, particularly in the evangelical
Protestant world. From purity rings and purity balls to books and bracelets, an entire
culture has developed. But often, it doesn’t seem to have worked. Parents are left
wondering where they went wrong and why their children have abandoned sexual
purity altogether. Young adults feel crushed and wounded by how their sexuality was
treated, often citing what’s come to be known as “purity culture” as one of the main
reasons they’re disenchanted with the Church. So where do we go from here? How
can we take the good from the conversations we’ve been having, reject what is wrong,
and raise our kids with a desire to be pure before God?

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This guide will help you discuss these questions...

• What does purpose mean?
• How do we seek our purpose?
• What is God’s purpose for our lives?
• What does it mean to pursue God’s purpose?
• Where in Scripture do we find our identity?
• How do we search Scripture for God’s will?
• What is God’s will?
• What is God’s design?

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions...

• What is racism?
• Does racism still exist in America?
• How does the Bible talk about racism?
• Did Jesus say anything about racism?
• Why is racism wrong?
• Does racism matter to teens?
• How should I talk to my teen about racism?
• How can I avoid fighting with my teen about racism?

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For many of us, having a child who is impacted by suicide, self-harm, or is witnessing these behaviors in a
close friend is heartbreaking and debilitating. We don’t even want to think about the possibility. After all, God
created us for a flourishing, abundant life, and relationship with Him, not pain, sadness, or the desire to no
longer live.

We live in a broken world that is still marred by the effects of the Fall: dysfunction, disorder, and sin, all of
which disrupt and decay the beautiful world God lovingly created for us. So what do we do when that reality
hits home, when our children struggle with very real issues? How do we help our kids find physical, mental,
emotional, and spiritual healing?

First, let us assure you that if you or a loved one is struggling, you’re not alone. In 2021, 1,952 youths completed
suicide and approximately 105,000 youths went to an ER for injuries due to self-harm and suicide attempts.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death in youths, not reflecting an even larger group of children who
struggle with self-harm and suicidal ideation that does not lead to an attempted or completed suicide.

But there is hope. Now more than ever, behavioral health providers are studying and learning about teen
mental health issues, and new resources are created every year. God talks about and deals with these issues
directly in His Word. 


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This guide will help you discuss:

• How social media affects us
• Why social media is so appealing
• How teens can use social media in a healthy way
• Whether social media is good or bad

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions...

• When do I start a conversation about dating and sex with my kid?
• What topics do I need to cover with my child about dating?
• Should I let my kid date?
• How do I know if my child is ready to date?
• What are the current teenage dating trends?
• How do I coach my kid to date in a digital age?

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions:

• What is TikTok?
• What are its potential dangers?
• Why is it so popular with young people?
• How does it work?
• Are there any options for parental controls?
• How can parents help their teens think about TikTok wisely?

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This guide will help you discuss the following questions:

• Why does vaping appeal to teenagers?
• Is vaping popular?
• Is vaping healthier than smoking cigarettes?
• How can nicotine addiction be treated?
• Is vaping a sin?
• How can God provide hope for teens who vape?
  

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Lost? Confused? Unable to
understand your teens?

Don’t worry; you’re in good company. Keeping up with teen
slang is nearly impossible. New words are constantly being
introduced, thanks to the influence of music, the Internet,
apps, and celebrities. You may feel overwhelmed and lost
when listening to your children/ grandchildren speaking, and
this feeling only gets worse when you wade into the ways
teens talk to each other online.

Use this guide as a reference for what’s widely popular right now in order to translate what teens are saying! And teen slang changes fast, so we add updates regularly—feel free to check back in!

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